Let’s Go Through A World of Wonder Wondering. Philosophical Fiction writer. I’m a common sense pragmatist bent on the doomed but defining task of blurring the line between Beauty and Truth.

 My blog’s posts will vary. However, many of them are short excerpts of my attempt of a history of Western philosophy titled The Storm and Stress, told through a mythological narrative. It begins with a man unprepared for manhood, who has been wondering, for some months, where things went wrong, what kind of life is right for him, and what his life is amounting to. Here I only dilate on how the character understood the world when entering the house of intellect seen through the prism of corrupting mental worlds and challenges that I can only grasp through the means of art. With that said, I have selected and have written about, to the best of my ability, so that the reader can understand the historical paradigm these ideas arose from.

My first book in the series contains ideas from ancient Greece from roughly the 8th century BCE to the 4th century BCE.  The second book,  now in progress, consists of ideas beginning in the 17th century and stretching until the mid 20th century.  The third book is my own creative endeavor. It is my philosophy to not give my readers just the analytical wisdom from the scientist and the philosopher, but, also, the intuitive wisdom of the poet. Perhaps the philosopher should be a poet, and the poet a philosopher. There are these two sides of our nature that we should all give heed to, or we run the risk of our heads being too far from our hearts.

About me: fate can have a sense of irony. In many great tales there is the ironic connection between the hero’s achievements with their downfall. Maybe not causal, but a hinting that the story’s beginning starts elsewhere. Ironic because I devoted my life to education in the philosophical fields of psychology and mind, only to have my own mind turn against me, and commit treason, making the mind a battlefield. Regardless of the stigmas attached to mental illness, schizophrenia has added a greater epistemic understanding of mind and psychology that can only be had by the subjective experience of the symptoms themselves. Nevertheless, I still have clarity of thought thanks to the aid of modern medicine. As archaic as it still is, it has helped me escape the constant grasps of psychosis and emotional throes for the most part. What happened is that as time progressed over the years my emotions swirled into a mixed hypomanic-depressive state. I had severe suicidal ideations simultaneously accompanied with euphoria in one chaotic balance that sustained over many years. It’s hard to describe what it is to feel euphoria and major depression disorder at the same time. They didn’t swing from one side to the other. They were both constant states of mind. During this period, books were my way towards spirituality and the library was my chapel. My long-term depressive-hypomanic behavior always revolved around philosophy, psychology, and classic literature. They aided in doctoring myself in a way that uplifted and elevated me. I owe my life to philosophy. I could feel ideas and narratives so deeply, it was as if  they had textures and sounds. It was euphoric and summoning. I was in a constant state of reverential wonder with a romantic attachment to the history of ideas. I wanted to change the world, try a new style of teaching, and arrest student’s hearts in order to free their minds.  I was on a confident flight path to professorship until a gadfly stung my winged horse, and I came crashing down until I hit the ground, nearly losing my life. My center could not hold, and my illness finally culminated into a schizoaffective psychosis, causing a fracture from reality. This fracture from reality lasted a year. This diagnosis leaves one hypersensitive to the world. For me, the stimulation was often too much to bear. I closed myself in. I could feel the world so heavily, the ecstatic and the suicidal with a beat and pulse that focused my attention and tuned my heart wildly.  The rift between delusion and reality was too great a divide and my actions arrested the university’s attention.

My Project helped me piece my life together. It wasn’t my place to become a philosophy professor, as fate would have it, but I’ll always be a philosopher at heart because true love doesn’t wither away. I fictionalized and mythologized, and used ever hook and gaff, in my power, so that one can hopefully come to find themselves in a big drama, and that their play needs to be worked out in a better way. Poetry and prose can reflect something more real than reality in the emblems and icons on the stage of characters, or written on the page with metaphors and allegories. The purpose of my writings is in hope that it may reach someone who finds a narrative or voice that speaks to them and helps them examine themselves in order to come nearer to answering that ancient command ‘know thyself’.

*In regards to my posts, all text in italics are quotes. These quotes are, of course, not my original thoughts, I only use them to let the great minds speak for themselves. However, my commentary on these quotes are my thoughts which have been filtered through how the protagonist has come to understand life over the course of his examined life. Most of the quotation marks are there because of the dialogue i created for characters in my novel. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me. Thank you for visiting.

All the best,
Stephen C. Pedersen